Is it possible to pay someone to go to the bathroom for me? I’m too lazy to get up and do it myself. Get on it, science.
Dog farts make me laugh, although the smell of death isn’t fun, their reaction to it is. One of my dogs, Jasmine, farts entirely too much for her own good. Sometimes she gets scared when it wakes her up, but when she is already awake, something special happens. She looks at you, then at her bhole, sniffs it, and gets real close like she is sharing a tender moment with her colon, sharing secrets.
Anonymous asked: I am currently crying thinking about how much I care for you and how horrible I am at showing it.
Don’t cry. I’m not worth it.
This is a post I should have made, I don’t know, 3ish weeks ago when it was my birthday but it wasn’t forced into my brain until tonight when the little girl across the street asked me about the situation. Of course she didn’t mean to, or at the very least didn’t know the reaction my brain would have to her honest questions.
I don’t talk about my family, or even myself on this blog because I have another one to do both of those things on. But I do have one, although I am not always sure that’s a good thing. Her questions were about a very specific part of my family, namely my biological father.
We’ll start with everything I know about him. His name is James Carl Davis, he is in his 60s, he was born in Cleveland and raised somewhere in Texas. That’s about all of what I know.
Here is the thing, I haven’t seen him since my 5th birthday. For those of you counting, that is 20 years. Or if you are a math guy, 4/5ths of my life. He also told my mom he was going to kidnap me from a baseball game when I was 7 but he never showed up.
The idea of him is kind of a painful thing. Not because of what he did so much, although that is and always will be at the root of a lot of my mental health issues. Its because there is a part of his DNA in me, he is fundamentally a part of what makes me up. There is no me without him, and that’s a hurtful sort of deal because I don’t want to end up like him, I don’t want to be that kind of guy but there is genetic predisposition. It frequently feels like I am running away from him, emotionally.
That is all.
mumblr3 asked: Happy birthdayyyyyuyYyyyYYY!!!! 8)
Thank you, Megan
Cats is my soul mate
Meet 9-year-old Dean, or meet me now, I am the same exact person.
I’m a strange man.